Republican Jesus is the central figure in the Republican religion and is the Jesus worshipped by [...] It is highly important to note the following facts about Republican Jesus:
Republican Jesus [...] the biblical Jesus, and in fact a minority of historians believe the two are actually the same figure. However, a growing body of evidence suggests that Republican Jesus was actually created in 1964 aboard a Goldwater campaign bus east of Flagstaff from the bones of Aldophus B. Huxley, and was recognized as the one true Republican messiah in 1980, in which role he continues to this day. Between 1980 and 1988, Republican Jesus was famously portrayed by the 50s B-movie actor Ronald Reagan.
- Although Republican Jesus hails from Bethlehem, his wardrobe consists of clean cut $900 suits (as pictured right), patriotic American T-shirts, Tennessee Titans wear, and a variety of novelty shirts like "I ♥ NY" and "God hates fags". He also sports a trendy cheap rubber W.W.G.W.B.D. bracelet.
- He is most certainly white-skinned (as pictured right) even though he (unfortunately) comes from the Middle East. This is seen by Republicans as the Light in the land of darkness. Despite this, Republican Jesus is a natural-born American Citizen.
- His name is most certainly not pronounced Hey-zeus. He is NOT a damn border-hoppin' brownie!
Leaders of the Gulf Coast states have designated Sunday a day of prayer for the regions affected by the oil spill that has sent millions of gallons of crude gushing into the Gulf of Mexico for the last 66 days.
The governors of Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana and Texas, and the Lt. Governor of Florida issued proclamations this week calling their citizens to pray for a solution that stops the leak and for the recovery of the coastline and the fish and wildlife industries devastated by the April 20 BP oil rig explosion that killed 11 workers.
"Throughout our history, Alabamians have humbly turned to God to ask for His blessings and to hold us steady during times of struggle," Alabama Gov. Bob Riley stated in a proclamation issued Wednesday. "This is certainly one of those times."
Although there is no coordinated national effort to mobilize prayer Sunday, the Florida Family Policy Council (FFPC) and the national Family Research Council are urging their supporters to participate.
"I really want to encourage the church to not knee-jerk and think about this as some kind of environmental issue that they should not have any interest in," said FFPC President John Stemberger.
"This is clearly a stewardship issue," he said. "All Christians need to be concerned about this. We need to be praying for the families of the men who were killed in the explosion, be praying for the government and the private sector initiatives trying to stop this [leak]."
Cindy Jacobs, co-founder of the U.S. Reformation Prayer Network, said prayer efforts have been under way in the Gulf region since the April explosion that led to the worst offshore oil spill in U.S. history. "Our prayer network all along the Gulf is fervently praying," Jacobs said.
Jacobs, who is leading a separate prayer effort for the Gulf Coast June 30, said Bob Jones prophesied in 1997 that after healing evangelist Oral Roberts died there would be an oil spill off the coast of Louisiana, which would be followed by two hurricanes. Roberts died Dec. 15
Petroleum-eating bacteria - which had dined for eons on oil seeping naturally through the seafloor - proliferated in the cloud of oil that drifted underwater for months after the April 20 accident. They not only outcompeted fellow microbes, they each ramped up their own internal metabolic machinery to digest the oil as efficiently as possible.
The result was a nature-made cleanup crew capable of reducing that reduced the amount of oil amounts in the undersea "plume" by half about every three days, according to research published online Tuesday by the journal Science.
The findings, by a team of scientists led by Terry C. Hazen of the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory in California, help explain one of the biggest mysteries a mystery of the disaster: Where has all the oil gone?
"What we know about the degradation rates fits with what we are seeing in the last three weeks," Hazen said. "We've gone out to the sites, and we don't find any oil, but we do find the bacteria."
Inside the plume, researchers found about twice as many bacterial cells per milliliter of water as outside it. There was also twice as much "phospholipid," a type of compound in cell membranes. Both findings pointed to an oil plume teeming with life. In fact, the researchers detected 951 subfamilies of bacteria containing more than 10,000 distinct species. Curiously, 16 of those 951 subfamilies were especially abundant in the plume samples compared with specimens outside the plume.
They were of a type called gamma-Proteobacteria (and dominated by the order of bacteria called Oceanospirillales) known to be able to degrade oil-like substances in cold water.
The scientists then looked at the roughly 5,000 genes active in the bacteria. They found that the 1,600 genes involved in "hydrocarbon degradation" were cranked up to much higher concentrations in the plume bacteria than in the bacteria outside it.
From a purely Darwinian point of view, this was no surprise. About 500,000 barrels of oil get into into the gulf's water each years through seafloor seeps. (In comparison, the 1989 Exxon Valdez spill in Alaska was 260,000 barrels.) Natural selection has favored microbial species able to quickly use oil as a nutrient when it is around. It's particularly favored ones that can use it in very cold, bottom waters - conditions generally not conducive to rapid bacterial growth. Many of the species flourishing in the samples taken by the Berkeley group actually consume oil better at 40 degrees Fahrenheit than at 70 degrees.
Two Sri Lankan employees found guilty by Saudi Arabian judiciary for committing adultery have been sentenced to death by stoning states Ministry of Foreign Affairs. The two Sri Lankans according to foreign ministry sources are a Sinhalese woman and a Muslim man from Sri Lanka.
According to law of Sharia adultery is a crime and the Jeddah Judiciary has informed Sri Lanka’s Consul Office in the city that the two would be stoned to death. A spokesman for the Ministry of Foreign Affairs said the sentence would be carried out on a date that would not be revealed to this country.
