Quickies: God’s Fickle Will Be Done/The Nazis Weren't All Bad

Hello Children,

Looks like ol’ Norma Jean is going to be a mite busy the next couple days!

Y’all might recollect {Here} and {Here} I been reinforcing the estate grounds here lately with the finest landmines money can buy.

Apparently, that somehow makes a visit to Nana’s such a dangerous undertaking that none of the grandbabies are being allowed to visit!

I tell you, sometimes your children can be such a burden!

Anyhow, I’ll be directing the groundskeepers in locating and defusing all the claymores and ‘bouncing betties,’ so y’all have to make do with a couple Wednesday afternoon Quickies.

Oh, BTW to my ungrateful, no-account children: now that I got one less line of defense should “President” Barack HUSSEIN Obama’s DEATH PANELS come for me (which is probably what you been planning anyway!), I thought you ought know that I done WROTE YOU OUT OF MY WILL!!!

God’s Fickle Will Be Done

I declare, if’n mankind nowadays ain’t once again ignoring the words of the Lord:

²¹ Hear this, you foolish and senseless people,
who have eyes but do not see,
who have ears but do not hear:

²² Should you not fear me?" declares the LORD.
"Should you not tremble in my presence?

-Book of Jeremiah

Apparently, the whole dang world is hard of hearing {Here}:

Last week, Rush Limbaugh said the eruption of the volcano in Iceland was "God speaking" in response to the passage of health care reform.

But John Hagee has a different explanation, saying it was God's response to the decision by Britain's Advertising Standards Authority that the Western Wall could not appear in tourism ads:

Television and radio evangelist Pastor John Hagee believes the recent eruption of the volcano in Iceland stems from Britain breaking God's covenant.

The day after Britain's Advertising Standards Authority said the Western Wall in Jerusalem could not be used in Israeli tourism ads in Britain because it is considered occupied territory, Hagee said, the volcano erupted, shutting down Britain's economy in one day.

"That's coincidence, like the flood was a coincidence. That's coincidence, like the Red Sea was coincidence. That's coincidence, like the earthquake and the Resurrection was coincidence," Hagee told about 3,200 people at Lancaster County Convention Center on Thursday night as part of John Hagee Ministries' Rally and Prophecy Seminar.

Hagee went on to warn President Obama for his treatment of Israel, saying "any country who tries to change [God's covenant with Abraham] will get the judgment of God. It's like sticking your finger in the eye of God."

I swanny!

Every individual on the face of the earth needs to stop what they’re doing right this instant!!

If’n Yahweh is willing to cripple international travel over something so seemingly petty, there ain’t no telling what He’ll do if’n we get Him really riled up!

Like drowning an entire city cause they celebrated queers instead of stoning them to death!

So let’s all us of just sit down and wait for instructions from God’s representative here on earth: Pat Robertson.

Seeing as Pat already knows the mind of God so well, I reckon all we got to do is follow his advice to the letter!

Viola: no more natural disasters!

The Nazis Weren’t All Bad

Now y’all know I don’t hesitate none to call out the dang Krauts for their crimes against America.

And them Nazis sure enough needed a whooping, what with their development of face-melting technology:



But going 0-for-2 don’t mean we ought discount every idea they ever had.

For instance, what’s wrong with asking for papers?

Oh yeah, that's right! Libs love their Fourth Amendment; it makes hiding their MARIJUANA that much easier!

Besides, if'n you ain't doing nothing wrong, you shouldn't have no problem with presenting your drivers license, social security card, and birth certificate to whomever asks for it!

-Norma Jean

Utopia: A Little City in Colorado

Hello Children,

Today’s update is one I actually wrote ought near two months ago, but never got around to posting.

Eventually I just wrote it off, thinking it had done been made irrelevant by the passage of time.

But then I seen this on the intertubes {Here}:

COLORADO SPRINGS, COLO. -- City economic leaders say Colorado Springs isn't getting a fair shake in the national media. So now they are fighting back.

The heads of the Greater Colorado Springs Chamber of Commerce and the Colorado Springs Regional Economic Development Corporation (EDC) are talking about a recent article in the Wall Street Journal.

They say the article painted an inaccurate picture of Colorado Springs as a city that is cutting all its services, and that could make it hard to attract new businesses to the area.

The head of the chamber and the head of the EDC each say they don’t want to get into a shouting match with the national media. Instead they are focusing on reminding locals why this is such a great place to work and live. They say the picture of Colorado Springs as a city without services is wrong.

And that’s what they are accusing the Wall Street Journal of publishing.

"The article was not balanced and it really focused on the negative in a community that has so many positive things that we could be talking about," said Mike Kazmierski, head of EDC.

The article talks about recent cuts to city services.

But the head of the EDC says sometimes people in other parts of the country get a distorted view of the Pikes Peak region.

"We get questions -- we got questions just last month from a prospect in California that said, 'I hear you are laying off all your police,'" said Kazmierski.

The fear is that articles like the one in the Journal will keep employers from relocating here.

"Image is everything and perception becomes some people's reality," said Dave Csintyan, CEO of the Chamber of Commerce.

Officials say Colorado Springs is proud to be a city of accountability and financial restraint. Now they say they are stressing the positive while talking to local businesses and prospective new companies.

"We say, 'You may have heard this but let me tell you what is really going on in Colorado Springs and what a great place it really is,'" Kazmierski said.

They say typically once a prospective employer visits here they are able to close the deal despite what is reported in the national media.

"Our cost of doing business is at least 30 percent less than either of the coasts," Kazmierski said.

Wednesday night the chamber and the EDC will host local businesses to talk face-to-face about what both groups are doing to make the Springs a better place to do business.

It’s free and open to the public at the Stargazers Theatre and Event Center, 10 S. Parkside Dr., Colorado Springs. The meeting is at 4:30 p.m.

Them city leaders is almost APOLOGIZING for cutting city services!

WHAT??? WHY???

So maybe a little support for the city of Colorado Springs is in order:

_________________________________________________

I declare, if’n I didn’t once again happen upon something that don’t highlight perfectly the INTELLECTUAL DISHONESTY of LIEberals and their whole TAX & SPEND philosophy of COMMUNISM!!

I done come across it while scouring the assembly of LIBtards over at Something Awful forums {Here}, or you can go on and find the original article {Here}:

COLORADO SPRINGS — This tax-averse city is about to learn what it looks and feels like when budget cuts slash services most Americans consider part of the urban fabric.

More than a third of the streetlights in Colorado Springs will go dark Monday. The police helicopters are for sale on the Internet. The city is dumping firefighting jobs, a vice team, burglary investigators, beat cops — dozens of police and fire positions will go unfilled.

The parks department removed trash cans last week, replacing them with signs urging users to pack out their own litter.

Neighbors are encouraged to bring their own lawn mowers to local green spaces, because parks workers will mow them only once every two weeks. If that.

Water cutbacks mean most parks will be dead, brown turf by July; the flower and fertilizer budget is zero.

City recreation centers, indoor and outdoor pools, and a handful of museums will close for good March 31 unless they find private funding to stay open. Buses no longer run on evenings and weekends. The city won't pay for any street paving, relying instead on a regional authority that can meet only about 10 percent of the need.

"I guess we're going to find out what the tolerance level is for people," said businessman Chuck Fowler, who is helping lead a private task force brainstorming for city budget fixes. "It's a new day."

Some residents are less sanguine, arguing that cuts to bus services, drug enforcement and treatment and job development are attacks on basic needs for the working class.

"How are people supposed to live? We're not a 'Mayberry R.F.D.' anymore," said Addy Hansen, a criminal justice student who has spoken out about safety cuts. "We're the second-largest city, and growing, in Colorado. We're in trouble. We're in big trouble."

Mayor flinches at revenue

Colorado Springs' woes are more visceral versions of local and state cuts across the nation. Denver has cut salaries and human services workers, trimmed library hours and raised fees; Aurora shuttered four libraries; the state budget has seen round after round of wholesale cuts in education and personnel.

The deep recession bit into Colorado Springs sales-tax collections, while pension and health care costs for city employees continued to soar. Sales-tax updates have become a regular exercise in flinching for Mayor Lionel Rivera.

"Every month I open it up, and I look for a plus in front of the numbers instead of a minus," he said. The 2010 sales-tax forecast is almost $22 million less than 2007.

Voters in November said an emphatic no to a tripling of property tax that would have restored $27.6 million to the city's $212 million general fund budget. Fowler and many other residents say voters don't trust city government to wisely spend a general tax increase and don't believe the current cuts are the only way to balance a budget.

Dead grass, dark streets

But the 2010 spending choices are complete, and local residents and businesses are preparing for a slew of changes:

• The steep parks and recreation cuts mean a radical reshifting of resources from more than 100 neighborhood parks to a few popular regional parks. The city cut watering drastically in 2009 but "got lucky" with weekly summer rains, said parks maintenance manager Kurt Schroeder.

With even more watering cuts, "if we repeat the weather of 2008, we're at risk of losing every bit of turf we have in our neighborhood parks," Schroeder said. Six city greenhouses are shut down. The city spent $19.6 million on parks in 2007; this year it will spend $3.1 million.

"If a playground burns down, I can't replace it," Schroeder said. Park fans' only hope is the possibility of a new ballot tax pledged to recreation spending that might win over skeptical voters.

• Community center and pool closures have parents worried about day-care costs, idle teenagers and shut-in grandparents with nowhere to go.

Hillside Community Center, on the southeastern edge of downtown Colorado Springs in a low- to moderate-income neighborhood, is scrambling to find private partners to stay open. Moms such as Kirsten Williams doubt they can replace Hillside's dedicated staff and preschool rates of $200 for six-week sessions.

"It's affordable, the program is phenomenal, and the staff all grew up here," Williams said. "You can't re-create that kind of magic."

Shutting down youth services is shortsighted, she argues. "You're going to pay now, or you're going to pay later. There's trouble if kids don't have things to do."

• Though officials and citizens put public safety above all in the budget, police and firefighting still lost more than $5.5 million this year. Positions that will go empty range from a domestic violence specialist to a deputy chief to juvenile offender officers. Fire squad 108 loses three firefighters. Putting the helicopters up for sale and eliminating the officers and a mechanic banked $877,000.

• Tourism outlets have attacked budget choices that hit them precisely as they're struggling to draw choosy visitors to the West.

The city cut three economic-development positions, land-use planning, long-range strategic planning and zoning and neighborhood inspectors. It also repossessed a large portion of a dedicated lodgers and car rental tax rather than transfer it to the visitors' bureau.

"It's going to hurt. If they don't at least market Colorado Springs, it doesn't get the people here," said Nancy Stovall, owner of Pine Creek Art Gallery on the tourism strip of Old Colorado City. Other states, such as New Mexico and Wyoming, will continue to market, and tourism losses will further erode city sales-tax revenue, merchants say.

• Turning out the lights, literally, is one of the high-profile trims aggravating some residents. The city-run Colorado Springs Utilities will shut down 8,000 to 10,000 of more than 24,000 streetlights, to save $1.2 million in energy and bulb replacement.

Hansen, the criminal-justice student, grows especially exasperated when recalling a scary incident a few years ago as she waited for a bus. She said a carload of drunken men approached her until the police helicopter that had been trailing them turned a spotlight on the men and chased them off. Now the helicopter is gone, and the streetlight she was waiting under is threatened as well.

"I don't know a person in this city who doesn't think that's just the stupidest thing on the planet," Hansen said. "Colorado Springs leaders put patches on problems and hope that will handle it."

Employee pay criticized

Community business leaders have jumped into the budget debate, some questioning city spending on what they see as "Ferrari"-level benefits for employees and high salaries in middle management. Broadmoor luxury resort chief executive Steve Bartolin wrote an open letter asking why the city spends $89,000 per employee, when his enterprise has a similar number of workers and spends only $24,000 on each.

Businessman Fowler, saying he is now speaking for the task force Bartolin supports, said the city should study the Broadmoor's use of seasonal employees and realistic manager pay.

"I don't know if people are convinced that the water needed to be turned off in the parks, or the trash cans need to come out, or the lights need to go off," Fowler said. "I think we'll have a big turnover in City Council a year from April. Until we get a new group in there, people aren't really going to believe much of anything."

Mayor and council are part-time jobs in Colorado Springs, points out Mayor Rivera, that pay $6,250 a year ($250 extra for the mayor). "We have jobs, we pay taxes, we use services, just like they do," Rivera said, acknowledging there is a "level of distrust" of public officials at many levels.

Rivera said he welcomes help from Bartolin, the private task force and any other source volunteering to rethink government. He is slightly encouraged, for now, that his monthly sales-tax reports are just ahead of budget predictions.

Officials across the city know their phone lines will light up as parks go brown, trash gathers in the weeds, and streets and alleys go dark.

"There's a lot of anger, a lot of frustration about how governments spend their money," Rivera said. "It's not unique to Colorado Springs."

Now that all sounds mighty sad…at least on the surface; until you realize that the folks in this idyllic slice of Heaven have one of the lowest property tax rates in the state!

This ain’t no town teetering on the brink of bankruptcy; it’s teetering on the brink of GREATNESS!

It’s a town what’s living a TEABAGGER’S dream-come-true!

Praise Jesus! Glory, glory hallelujah!

Now if’n the residents of that town want to achieve a true Conservative Utopia, they got just a bit farther to go.

Here’s the best way to go about it while staying true to the principles of the GOP:

• Eliminate all taxes on anyone earning more than 250,000 a year.
• Raise taxes on everyone earning less than 250,000 a year, with the penalty increasing exponentially the less you make.
• Eliminate police and fire departments funding.

This way, them rich folks – who obviously deserve their wealth, else why would God give it to them – get to keep more of their own money.

Conversely, the poor will choose to pull themselves up by their bootstraps or face crippling taxation. That-a-way, nobody gots to feel any sympathy for the “poor” or “homeless.” (Not that I do anyway; after all, if them no-account LAYABOUTS didn’t WANT to be poor no more, then they’d go out and make themselves rich.)

And just imagine how much better this nation would be without publicly funded emergency services!

Without the stranglehold that police and fire unions enforce on taxpayers, the free market would flourish, extending the private sector’s benevolent “unseen hand” to those folks what can afford to pay for them services!

That’s what I don’t understand about these LibTARDS; they don’t see no problem with paying to have a pizza delivered, but they expect the rest of us to pay TAXES so they can rely on GOVERNMENT LARGESSE to put out house fires or stop home invasions!

Hey LibTURDS, why don’t y’all use your brains (I know that’s asking a lot ) and look up “SUPPLY AND DEMAND”?!

• Do you value your safety? Then you won’t mind paying a police officer for the use of his services when you’re being robbed! *
• Do you value your property? They you won’t mind paying a firefighter for the use of his services when your house is burning down! *

I swanny! What’s so hard to understand about THAT?!

Oh yeah, I forgot. It don’t cater to the LIBERAL ISLAMO-FASCIST dream of a ATHEIST COMMUNIST ONE-WORLD GOVERNMENT!

-Norma Jean

* You notice I specifically don’t say “him OR HER?” That’s cause menfolk – and ONLY menfolk - should ever, ever, ever work outside the home!

Healthcare Reform: Forces of Darkness on the Move

Comrades,

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!

WHY HAVE YOU CHOSEN TO DESTROY LIBERTY?!

I am not having much time to write; the IRS healthcare enforcement agents, healthcare death panel squads, ACORN, and your President Obama’s Brownshirts are even now combing the city, rounding up any and all malcontents and Republicans for internment in the FEMA concentration camps!

Why, comrade Americans, have you chosen to jettison your Jeffersonian democracy in favor of Trostkyite-Stalinst-Leninist Nazi-Communism in one felled swoop?!

It is being an unconstitutional travesty of Biblical proportions! Even as your Kenyan Islamofascist-Bolshevik president was signing the Health Care Reform bill into law, his army of youth volunteers was descending into REAL America, pushing old women down stairs, kicking puppies, and taking candy from babies!

However, much fortuitously, there are being many who are not standing by idly at this massive government takeover of healthcare!

As an asiding, I am being confused: how can it be a government takeover of healthcare if the government is handing over billions of dollars to private healthcare insurance companies, has no role in directing doctors in the care of patients, and can do little more than fine people who forego insurance coverage? I am not sure, but that is undoubtedly because I am not being so smart as Rush Limbaugh:

But being best of all, there are true patriots of American democracy fighting the good fight:

Comrades, I am being so proud I am crying tears of patriotic joy as I am typing!

Never be forgetting: it is not that Democrats and Republicans have opposing viewpoints, and thus disagreements on policy; it is that ALL Democrats are stupid, conniving, unpatriotic, treasonous, Marxist-loving, Hitler-worshiping anarchists!

I am hearing the death panel squad outside, so I must be on the move again!

-Dasvedanya!

Republican Patriot Sticks up For Freedom!

Oh boy...Old Harriet just about swooned when she saw this:



Now this is Patriotism at its finest! I am for freedom so you should just shut up!!!!

More of this please!

He also knows that those Godly insurance companies were given their money by The Almighty and it should be none of the government's business if the insurance company decides to, say, cancel the insurance policy of someone who got sick:

Shortly after they were diagnosed with breast cancer, each of the women learned that her health insurance had been canceled. There was Yenny Hsu, who lived and worked in Los Angeles. And there was Patricia Reilling, a successful art gallery owner and interior designer from Louisville, Kentucky.

Neither of these women knew about the other. But besides their similar narratives, they had something else in common: Their health insurance carriers were subsidiaries of WellPoint, which has 33.7 million policyholders -- more than any other health insurance company in the United States.

The women paid their premiums on time. Before they fell ill, neither had any problems with their insurance. Initially, they believed their policies had been canceled by mistake.

They had no idea that WellPoint was using a computer algorithm that automatically targeted them and every other policyholder recently diagnosed with breast cancer. The software triggered an immediate fraud investigation, as the company searched for some pretext to drop their policies, according to government regulators and investigators.

Once the women were singled out, they say, the insurer then canceled their policies based on either erroneous or flimsy information. WellPoint declined to comment on the women's specific cases without a signed waiver from them, citing privacy laws.

That tens of thousands of Americans lost their health insurance shortly after being diagnosed with life-threatening, expensive medical conditions has been well documented by law enforcement agencies, state regulators and a congressional committee. Insurance companies have used the practice, known as "rescission," for years. And a congressional committee last year said WellPoint was one of the worst offenders.

But WellPoint also has specifically targeted women with breast cancer for aggressive investigation with the intent to cancel their policies, federal investigators told Reuters. The revelation is especially striking for a company whose CEO and president, Angela Braly, has earned plaudits for how her company improved the medical care and treatment of other policyholders with breast cancer.

That's right: if these women got sick, they must have made Jesus unhappy! How dare that evil Government make those Godly insurance companies pay what they said that they would pay! That, as the Tea Party Patriot proclaims, is capitalism!

Yes, he is from one of those Latin American countries but he LOVES this country. So he'd never be raising a fuss when other true blooded Americans try to keep the darker skinned riff-raff out of this country:

Gov. Jan Brewer of Arizona signed the nation’s toughest bill on illegal immigration into law on Friday. Its aim is to identify, prosecute and deport illegal immigrants.

The move unleashed immediate protests and reignited the divisive battle over immigration reform nationally.

Even before she signed the bill at an afternoon news conference here, President Obama strongly criticized it.

Speaking at a naturalization ceremony for 24 active-duty service members in the Rose Garden, he called for a federal overhaul of immigration laws, which Congressional leaders signaled they were preparing to take up soon, to avoid “irresponsibility by others.”

The Arizona law, he added, threatened “to undermine basic notions of fairness that we cherish as Americans, as well as the trust between police and our communities that is so crucial to keeping us safe.”

The law, which proponents and critics alike said was the broadest and strictest immigration measure in generations, would make the failure to carry immigration documents a crime and give the police broad power to detain anyone suspected of being in the country illegally. Opponents have called it an open invitation for harassment and discrimination against Hispanics regardless of their citizenship status.

It is HIGH TIME!!! If you don't LOOK 'merican, you shouldn't mind carrying around proof that you really are 'merican! I'm sure that the patriot in this video would understand!

Timothy McVeigh: Patriot; Lover of Freedom; Martyred Saint of Liberty!

Hello Children,

Good God Almighty, y’all! We sure enough are living in some mighty interesting (and scary) times! *

I done thought things was bad NOW, what with the FEDERAL government subjecting God-fearing Americans to implantation of chips what violate the very sanctity of lady taints:

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Lord have mercy!

That poor, poor woman! I can’t begin to imagine the ever loving fear what she must feel with the knowledge that her nether regions may experience sudden, prolonged vibrating remotely at the hands of a total stranger!

As an aside, I’d be most appreciative if’n somebody could send ol’ Norma Jean one of these chips; it must be exposed to extensive research! Shitfire, I feel so strongly in helping such folks as that rectally-violated woman, that I hereby swear to subject myself to this chip’s mysterious, possibly dangerous ministrations! I promise here and now if’n there’s somebody what got one of these chips, I will relent to its placement within my very womanhood, where its vibrative properties will be pushed to the limit till I am fully satisfied!

Praise be to Jesus that there are still REAL Americans so willing to stand up against the coming Antichrist/New World Order/UN invasion that they’ll outlaw branding folks with the Mark of the Beast!

Good on ya, Mississippi! Certainly can’t expect that sort of level-headed approach by damn Yankees!

But you can’t say we wasn’t warned!

Way back in 1995, we had one heckuva wake-up call:

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Well color me negro and call me Aunt Jemima! The LIBERAL MAINSTREAM MEDIA went and obfuscated what REALLY was responsible for the Oklahoma City bombing!

Fortunately, us REAL Americans (i.e. Christian Republicans) got courageous and learned patriots to state the truth {Here}!

God bless you, Rush! I could right near kiss you if’n you was here and wasn’t so physically repulsive!

Your heart is in the right place, though.

He is 100% right on target! The bombing of the Murrah building wasn’t the work of some crazed, conspiracy theory-laden sociopath!

The bombing rests solely on the shoulders of former “President” Bill Clinton!

Ol’ Slick Willy hisself unconstitutionally ordered both the investigation and raid of the Branch Davidian compound, and then covered up his crime by burning it to the ground!

Can anyone point to ANY being committed on the Compound?!

Oh sure, the FEDERAL government can try and twist the truth into knots {Here} by trying to convince Americans that stockpiling weapons, polygamy, and having relations with underage girls is illegal.

Excuse me, LibTURDs but I don’t recall ever seeing that spelt out in the Bible NOWHERE!

And if’n it ain’t a crime in the Bible, then it ain’t a crime today! QED

Anyhow, that EVIL raid forced the hand of poor, ill-fated Timothy McVeigh into taking a courageous stand against such tyranny by blowing to smithereens a building of government workers…and a few children.

And don’t you try telling me them 168 people was “innocent.” They’re just as much at fault as Bill Clinton; if’n they wasn’t furthering the reach of the NEW WORLD ORDER by doing their jobs, or doing business nearby, or playing in daycare, maybe they’d be alive today!

And don’t y’all never forget just how deep ol’ Slick Willy is in innocent blood {Here}:

But you can’t never hide the truth forever! Though I ain't quite sure why Dick didn't say nothing about this before now, I'd reckon it's cause his mind is so chock full of PATRIOTISM that he just plum forgot!

-Norma Jean


* Fortunately not for much longer, though. Remember, Jesus returns 12/21/2012!

Living in the End Times!

Folks, I do believe that we are seeing the End Times; Our Savior will be returning soon!



Yes, the Lord has gave us a sign; there is a volcano that is spewing ash into the air, disrupting our plans. As uber-patriot Rush Limbaugh says:

You know, a couple of days after the health care bill had been signed into law Obama ran around all over the country saying, 'Hey, you know, I’m looking around. The earth hadn’t opened up. There’s no Armageddon out there. The birds are still chirping.' I think the earth has opened up. God may have replied," he said on his radio show Friday.

The volcano's activity halted many travel plans Friday and Saturday as the volcano continued to erupt longer than scientists anticipated. President Obama was forced to cancel his plans to fly to Poland for a memorial in honor of Polish leaders, including the country's president, that were killed in a plane crash last week.

And you know that God-Fearing Christian Republicans would NEVER interfere with the Plans of the Almighty by, say, monitoring them:

Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal's swipe at federal spending to monitor volcanoes has the mayor of one city in the shadow of Mount St. Helens fuming.
Gov. Bobby Jindal says spending for the U.S. Geological Survey is questionable.

Gov. Bobby Jindal says spending for the U.S. Geological Survey is questionable.

"Does the governor have a volcano in his backyard?" Royce Pollard, the mayor of Vancouver, Washington, said on Wednesday. "We have one that's very active, and it still rumbles and spits and coughs very frequently."

Jindal singled out a $140 million appropriation for the U.S. Geological Survey as an example of questionable government spending during the GOP response to President Obama's address to Congress Tuesday night.

The governor, a rising Republican star, questioned why "something called 'volcano monitoring' " was included in the nearly $800 billion economic stimulus bill Obama signed earlier this month.

"Instead of monitoring volcanoes, what Congress should be monitoring is the eruption of spending in Washington," Jindal said.

But then we have still another sign: a Mayor in the Satanically blue state of Illinois hasn't been fooled by Barack HUSSEIN Obama's fake birth certificate:

The headline says Mayor is Sets Record Straight About YouTube Video. I’m wondering exactly what WMBD’s headline writer thinks was “set straight.”

Champaign’s mayor is setting the record straight.

Jerry Schweighart told a University of Illinois student he doesn’t believe President Obama is a natural born citizen. Now he speaks for the first time since he made those comments.

The mayor says it was an off the cuff comment at a local tea party rally, something he never imagined would be posted on YouTube let alone hit the national news cycle. The now infamous video has one hundred seventy five thousand views.

So, he wanted to make it clear that he is, in fact, a Birther wackadoodle.

I'd expect such Godly Patriotism from the Deep South. But now we get it from Illinois! Ol' Harriet just, (blush) moistened her lacy underpants...

Do we have Homosexual Republican Senators?

You know that our good nation has gone downhill when even Conservative Republicans are accused of being homosexual:

William Gheen, head of the conservative, anti-"amnesty," anti-illegal immigration group Americans for Legal Immigration PAC (ALIPAC), spoke at a Greenville, S.C. Tea Party rally this weekend and called for Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) to "come out of that log cabin closet."

According to Gheen, being gay is "a secret that Lindsey Graham has."

Gheen told the crowd: "I hope this secret isn't being used as leverage over Senator Graham, so today I think Senator Graham, you need to come forward and tell people about your alternative lifestyle and your homosexuality."

"Barney Frank is more honest and brave than you," Gheen continued, referring to the openly-gay Massachusetts congressman.

So, we can clear up Senator Graham's sexual preference very easily.

Remember this:



I suggest that Sister Norma Jean join me in putting on our swankiest dancing clothes and dancing around Senator Graham. If he doesn't have the appropriate reaction...well, we'll know that he is gay.

Not all Muslims are Crazy!

These women:



They are from SATAN! They are responsible for THIS:



How do we know this? Well, here is what an Iranian cleric says:

A senior Iranian cleric says women who wear immodest clothing and behave promiscuously are to blame for earthquakes.

Iran is one of the world's most earthquake-prone countries, and the cleric's unusual explanation for why the earth shakes follows a prediction by President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad that a quake is certain to hit Tehran and that many of its 12 million inhabitants should relocate.

"Many women who do not dress modestly ... lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes," Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted as saying by Iranian media. Sedighi is Tehran's acting Friday prayer leader.

Women in the Islamic Republic are required by law to cover from head to toe, but many, especially the young, ignore some of the more strict codes and wear tight coats and scarves pulled back that show much of the hair.

"What can we do to avoid being buried under the rubble?" Sedighi asked during a prayer sermon Friday. "There is no other solution but to take refuge in religion and to adapt our lives to Islam's moral codes."

Ok, the Muslims: they don't worship the RIGHT deity (Jesus) and I haven't seen them supporting supply side economics. But they are right about floozies and have great social values!

They are almost REPUBLICANS!!!

Liz Cheney: An Autobiography Sneak Peek!

Hello Children,

I hope y’all can accept my apology for the relative dearth of updates as of late; I been fighting something fierce with some dadblame “disease” what’s infected my computin machine.

If’n I ever get my hands on the Libs what are responsible for the Packed.Delfcrypt virus, believe you me when I say I’ll tear their God-damn throat out with my dentures!

Anyhow, in other news, y’all are in for a treat today!

I been in correspondence lately with a fellow REAL American; the daughter (well, the good one anyway) of a patriot in the manner of our Founding Fathers; a gal what got more chutzpah * than all LibTURD pantywaists put together:

Liz Cheney!

Even better, she done give me permission to post a portion of her memoirs she’s currently writing!

Best you be taking to my warning though, y’all. This here is a NSFW mite steamy and provocative chapter of her book, so you’ll want to send the young’uns outside just in case you got to “take care of business.”

I know I did!

To: Norma Jean
From: Liz Cheney

Subject: New book excerpt

Hey Norma Jean,

I thought you and your readers might appreciate a sneak peak of my newest book.

Enjoy!

24 April, 2007

Dear diary,

Today might say April 24, but I’ll always remember it as the BEST. DAY. EVER!

It started out normal enough.

I sat down at my desk, sorting through the day’s mail. Just a lot of the usual bullshit: bills; those went into the inbox. Advertisements; those went into the shredder. Another copy of the Constitution sent by some pussy civil libertarian; that followed the adverts into the shredder.

I’ve gotten this far through life without reading the goddamn thing; no need to start now.

“What’s this?” My heart skips a beat; I’d recognize that handwriting anywhere!

I tear open the envelope, and a DVD falls out.

My breath quickens now; there’s no way I can wait to watch this! Good God, my lips are already quivering! I can feel that slight burning as my face flushes.

I make my way slowly to the living room, my legs shaking so, I wonder if I can make it.

The sun is streaming in through the patio doors; I swing them wide, the early spring air enveloping me in its warm embrace. The fragrance of the flowering azaleas rushes in; the ever-so-sweet, earthy scent fills the room, quickly displacing the staid and musty air to which I’d long grown accustomed.

"I fucking hate nature.”

But not even Mother Nature’s reprehensible presence is enough to deter me! And what I hear coming from out-of-doors only steels my resolve: the neighbors are out in the garden, celebrating something with a large number of their friends.

This is too perfect!

I open the set of doors leading to the deck, which allows me a clear unobstructed view of the neighbors.

More importantly, it gives THEM a clear unobstructed view of ME.

I can’t wait anymore! I run to the TV and pop in the DVD.

The scene opens; oh, Jesus! My hands are sweating so badly, I have to wipe them on my skirt. My heart is beating so fast, so hard; I can nearly hear my pulse!

This isn’t Gitmo; the stained walls, the dirt floor; the room is most definitely NOT built to Army specs.

The camera centers in on a lone chair, a man stripped of all clothing is already strapped in; stainless steel shackles tether him so tightly to the chair that he cannot even move his hands.

His head covered in a black hood.

The camera centers; I know what waits, but the anticipation is killing me!

The hood is pulled off; the prisoner blinks his eyes rapidly, making the adjustment from dark to bright light.

And then, there it is! Plain as day, on his face: PANIC!

The burning in my loins intensifies!

This one’s going to be good!

The prisoner gazes fearfully into the faces of his interrogators; I recognize the uniform of a Blackwater op.

Oh my God! It’s Blackwater CEO Erik Prince himself! Sweet! Pretty sure the other two are CIA contractors.

Anyway, they start talking, one after the other, in that God-awful raghead gibberish.

They spend a couple minutes in back-and-forth, the interrogators growing more and more agitated. I can’t tell what they’re saying, but it’s pretty obvious they’re not hearing what they want.

And the first punch is thrown! Out of nowhere, quick as a flash, the prisoner’s head flies backwards, blood pouring from his nose; it’s got to be broken!

Good God, I want nothing more than to shove my hand down my panties! I fight it, but it ain’t easy! My pussy is on fire, my clit absolutely throbbing!

But I wait.

More back-and-forth, the prisoner just keeps repeating the same thing over and over again, shaking his head. But it’s his eyes that draw me in. Sheer terror!

Oh Jesus, I moan. I can’t help it, I’m so fucking hot! My tits feel so heavy and full, my nipples erect and supersensitive! Just a bit longer.

And then Prince throws another punch, and another, and another! It isn’t long before the prisoner’s eyes are bruised and swollen; blood from numerous facial lacerations mix with the blood still pouring from his broken nose.

And now a new emotion emerges on the prisoner’s face: desperation!

And that does for me! I strip off my blouse and bra, and start massaging my tits. It feels so incredible; I pinch my nipples s as I concentrate on the despair evident on the prisoner’s face! I am so fucking horny at this point! There’s so much heat flooding through my pussy I don’t even need to feel the crotch of my panties to know they’re soaked.

But I know it will get even better. I content myself with firmer and firmer nipple pinching. As much as I want to, I hold off on rubbing my gash.

I concentrate so much on the fearful expression on the guy’s face, I almost miss one my favorite parts. One of the CIA guys take a lit cigarette from his lips and puts it out right on the prisoner’s nipples! He screams; the CIA guys laugh; my pussy aches.

Oh, looks like the party next door has finally noticed. I can see a couple of women whispering to each other, probably disbelieving what they see.

That only makes me hornier!

I stand up and undo my skirt, letting it and my (now soaked) panties fall to the floor. The look on the faces of that pair of bitches next door is comical: jaws agape, eyes wide.

You want a show, you fucking cunts? I’ll give you one!

I sit back on the couch and open my legs wide, giving the party-goers an eyeful of my glorious, hairy pussy.

They can keep watching if they want, but I go back to the interrogation.

Now the Blackwater guard has his gun out! He waves it around in front of the prisoner’s face, screaming loudly in what I assume is Arabic or Pashtun or whatever it is those camel jockeys speak.

And the prisoner is now openly weeping…probably begging for his life!

No more waiting! I rub my labia, now swollen in full arousal!

I imagine myself there in the room now, mocking the man in the chair; licking those tears of shame and terror!

Oh God, I can almost taste them!

I move over to the couch arm. I crave as much stimulation as possible, so I start rubbing my pussy on the arms; sweet Christ, pleasure and heat simultaneously flood my loins!

But I don’t want to miss anything! I turn back to the screen, my eyes half-closed in the utter ecstasy as rough fabric of the couch caresses my dripping pussy.

The camera pans out a little, revealing a little more of the room.

The CIA guys start throwing more punches…kicking the guy’s legs, leaving wide cuts.

Prince then waves the spooks back, I’m not really sure why.

And then he raises his fist, brings it down right on the prisoner’s testicles!

Jesus Christ, the man must be in sheer agony! But he doesn’t scream; he can’t catch his breath…shock obvious on his face.

And just when he starts breathing again, he vomits…and I very nearly cum right there on the couch arm!

Then Erik Prince leaves the room, returning a couple minutes later trailing a big, blond-haired, blue-eyed Blackwater employee (I smirk; not really a surprise that Prince would keep a strapping Aryan man nearby. His perverse peccadilloes are nearly legend in D.C.) and a woman in burka with her hands cuffed behind her. Apprehension turns to fear once she sees the bloodied figure in the chair.

Though surely exhausted from all the beatings, the prisoner suddenly begins struggling in the chair, crying at the Americans in the room. I’m not sure, but it certainly sounds like pleading.

Prince then says something along the lines of, “Hey, bitch! Anything you want to say to your husband before we kill him?”

Forgetting who he’s talking to, he switches to that Arab shit. Obviously, she didn’t recognize the prisoner through all the blood, missing teeth and extensive bruising, and rushes to his side.

Concern for her husband; horror at what’s happened to him; seething hatred at the interrogators: these are all evident on her face.

Before she reaches him however, the Aryan Blackwater guard grabs her arm and slams her bodily into the wall.

The scene devolves into total chaos. The prisoner is screaming his head off, the CIA guys take to waling on him again; Erik Prince grabs a baton and brings it down with a sickening crack onto the woman’s knee; she’s weeping and would probably collapse on the floor if not the guard, who has a hand around her neck.

The CIA guys finally shove a rag into the prisoner’s mouth and cover it with duct tape. The Blackwater guard has finally silenced the woman, who now can only whimper as tears stream from her eyes as he tightens his grip around her throat.

Good God Almighty! More tears! I caress my lips with my tongue, and imagine myself there with her in the room.

I can see it now: there I am on the table, already naked with legs spread wide. The Blackwater guard manhandles the woman close, then shoves her face into my snatch.

"Lick me off, bitch!"

She starts off slowly, ashamed and humiliated to be forced into this position. Her initial strokes begin at the entrance to my dripping gooch, drawing up my wetness and sliding upward, then flicking my clit ever so gently.

Her tears mix with the blend of cum and saliva around my clit, and amidst the heady pleasure, I can’t help but to gloat.

“Oh yeah, you hate that don’t you? You loathe fucking me with your tongue! Well you ain’t done yet! Fuck me faster, whore! Fuck me with your tongue! Shove your tongue into my pussy! I want to feel you lick the inside of my pussy!"

Oh! I almost forget about the DVD!

I focus my attention back to the television.

The CIA guys are sitting off to one side of the room, shit-eating grins all over their mugs.

What the fuck?

Erik Prince walks up to the Blackwater guard, who still has the woman in a hold against the wall, and nods to him.

What is going on here?

The guard smiles, leans in and whispers into the woman’s ear, and her eyes open wide in terror.

I stop rubbing my clit and lean forward on the couch, curiosity overcoming lust.

And the guard starts grinding his crotch into the woman’s behind.

No fucking way!

The woman’s whimpers intensify into a continuous, pitiable moan of fear.

The Blackwater guard swings the woman around, shoves her back into the wall. And in one fluid motion, rips off her top with one hand and grasps one of her tits with the other.

Unable to support her weight on her now-shattered knee, she collapses and falls…well she would if not for the fact that the guard has her tit in a death grip!

The guard is literally keeping her suspended by her own fucking tit!

All the woman can manage is one gasp of pain…I’m not even sure she can breathe in that position!

I resume furiously rubbing my clit!

Then Prince walks over to the CIA guys and takes a seat beside them; he nudges his neighbor and gestures towards his employee.

The guard lets loose the woman, who hits the ground hard. The fall knocks the breath out of her; when at last she breathes, she gasps, and slowly writhes in pain.

Oh fuck! I’m getting close! The pressure builds…not long now!

And just when I think it can’t get any better than this…it does!

The Aryan slowly drops to his knees beside the woman, relishing the absolute terror on her face.

He undoes his pants and lets loose the biggest cock I have ever seen in my life!

I mean, it’s a huge goddamn monster! And the Aryan is plainly excited, as evidenced by the huge erection and line of pre-cum falling from his dick.

He allows a drop to fall beside the woman’s head, and her expression is priceless! I thought she was terrified before…she’s petrified now!

Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! He’s really going to do it!

I quickly reach into the lamp table drawer and pull out the super dildo I keep there for just such an occasion!

I shiver as I turn on the vibrator and run it along my cunt, ensuring that it’s well lubricated. I get down on all fours, and in one quick thrust, force it painfully into my asshole!

I feel it as it pushes wide my rectum! It’s unbearable pain and pleasure mixed, continuing as I push it further and further in; six inches, seven inches, eight inches, nine inches! I can’t do anymore! It’s shoved so far, I can’t bring myself to push further!

But there’s still at least one inch left, and I desperately want to feel the entire length!

So I sit up, raise my ass slightly, and fall bodily onto the last inch of the dildo! It rams upward, my asshole swallowing it whole! The pain is unbelievable!

But Jesus! The pleasure is, too! It fills my ass, and I feel it pushing against the inside of my pussy!

The doorbell rings, and the door opens a second later; only one person ever enters that way.

“I’m in the living room, dad!”

I can only imagine how I look when he walks in, totally nude, vibrating dildo in my ass, rubbing my pussy amidst loads of cum all over the couch!

He laughs, and sits down beside me. “I see you got my DVD. Do you mind if I watch?”

“I’d prefer you participate.”

I don’t have to ask twice. I sit back up on the couch, and he kneels between my legs.

I’ll say this for the old perv: he knows my pussy like the back of his hand.

He ought to, with all the practice he’s had.

His tongue strokes are nothing short of amazing; he maneuvers it expertly, drawing up wetness from my twat and mixing it with his saliva, ensuring an unbelievably lubed journey up and around my clit.

I’m so enraptured in the tongue bath, I’m completely caught off guard when he suddenly stabs two thick fingers into my snatch!

I gasp in surprise and pleasure!

He withdraws them, only to stab them back in harder; this time at an angle to better hit my g-spot!

Oh Jesus fucking Christ!

He’s pushing me to the edge at an incredible pace! It won’t be long now.

“More, daddy! I want more!”

His tongue races faster and faster! I can no longer even feel individual strokes; it’s one continuous sensation of pure bliss.

And the sound!

I can think of nothing in this world more exciting, more erotic than listening to your father lap at your wet pussy!

Now he's fucking me with three fingers! Four fingers!

Five fingers!

“Punch me, daddyy! Oh good God, punch my cunt!”

He slams his fist into my pussy, again and again and again!

“FUCK ME! FUCK ME! FUCK ME HARDER!”

The vibrating dildo in my rectum; dad's hurricane tongue flicking my clit; his fat hand repeatedly sinking up to the wrist in my dripping slit; every muscle tenses as I’m pushed closer and closer to orgasm.

I glance back at the television.

Incredible! The Aryan is violating both the prisoner and his wife simultaneously!

I arch my back as I near the cusp!

"Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck!"

I can no longer control my body; every muscle clenches tight; the dildo rockets out of my asshole!

The release is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced! I scream in ecstasy!

Dad ceases pounding my pussy, but is absolutely relentless as he attacks my clit with his tongue! I unexpectedly spray cum all over his face, yet he continues!

Wave after wave of pleasure flows across my body; each emanates from my throbbing pussy and races outward, reverberating and mixing with successive waves!

At last I collapse on the couch, the paroxysms of orgasm racking my body, again and again.

It’s a full ten minutes before they subside enough that I can do anything but shudder with delight.

I look down and admire the view: former Vice President Dick Cheney; at one time, he was the world’s second most powerful man.

And here he kneels between my legs covered in my cum, his face buried in my snatch, lazily running his tongue up and down my pussy.

And beating himself off.

I smile and ask if I can do anything to help.

He chuckles, drops his pants, and takes a seat beside me on the couch. “I thought you’d never ask.”

He restarts the DVD and kicks off his shoes, leaving him nude but for his black dress socks.

It’s now MY turn to kneel between HIS legs, and I massage his balls. Poor guy; the brief exertion it took him to stand up and move to the couch was enough to make him flacid.

Slowly, oh so slowly, does he begin to respond.

I’ve always be so fascinated with dad’s cock; watching it grow from a nub half-hidden by his pubes to its full size (nearly the length and width of my pinky) never fails to arouse me!

My pussy is wet again by the time I lean over and take his tiny dick in my mouth.

Look for my autobiography, “Liz Cheney: My Life and Conquests,” in bookstores in fall 2011!

I just wanted to add an addendum here, folks.

Y’all ought know I ain’t no fan of such interfamilial relations (as it’s a sin spelt out in the Bible), but I reckon I can make an exception in this case cause we’re dealing with two of the finest examples of Conservatism and American exceptionalism ever created!

I’m sure Jesus would agree.


-Norma Jean

* I know, children, I know! It’s such a Jew word, but I can’t think of nothing better what fits.