Yep, yep; I know, y’all! You ain’t heard from me in a coon's age.
Well truth be told, I been doing some volunteering for Rep. Henry Brown, working in the name of the Lord against the EVIL LIBERALS what are dead set in destroying CHRISTMAS!
So it was with a wary eye I done turned to the blog of my arch-nemesis, Ed Brayton over at his EVIL Dispatches from the Culture Wars:
Rep. Henry Brown of South Carolina and 74 Republican co-sponsors in the U.S. House of Representatives actually wants Congress to pass a resolution condemning people for saying "Happy Holidays" rather than "Merry Christmas."
The religious meaning of Christmas is serious to Brown. In an explanation of his resolution to the Christian Broadcast Network, Brown noted that, "we're in a troubled world," so "we can't lose sight of our deep faith by some how or another diminishing the value of Christmas."The main threat to Christmas, Brown contents, is the use of the term "happy holidays" rather than an emphasis on "Christ and Christmas."
He continues in an interview with Fox News:
BROWN: We forget the real meaning of Christmas by using "happy holidays" or "joy to the seasons" or some other word rather than "Merry Christmas." [...]Every year, more and more people are shying away from "Merry Christmas" and using "happy holidays" or some other means of expressing this special time for us.
And of course, he's using this as an attack on Obama:
Indeed, Brown has even attempted to use his resolution as a jab against President Obama. Declaring that the Obamas' holiday card doesn't mention Christmas, Brown said, "I believe that sending a Christmas card without referencing a holiday and its purpose limits the Christmas celebration in favor of a more 'politically correct' holiday." Brown's fight to preserve Christmas and shun "happy holidays" has earned him the title of "patriot" from noted culture warrior Bill O'Reilly.However, Brown's 2008 December newsletter wished a "happy holiday" to his constituents for the "holiday season." Although the newsletter had a link to the White House Christmas tree website, it made no other mention of Christ or Christmas. (Click here for a screenshot) And as Slate's Chris Beam has observed, Brown didn't introduce his resolution last year, even though President Bush's 2008 holiday card didn't mention Christmas either.
This kind of stupidity should not only be painful, it should invite some particularly painful kind of testicular cancer as a karmic reward for polluting the world with such irrelevant bullshit. It reminds me of those demagogic morons in Congress who promptly renamed french fries "freedom fries" after the war in Iraq started and France would not support our invasion. Anyone who supports such an idiotic proposal should be immediately barred not only from holding public office but from voting in any election as well.
If you think this is the kind of inane bullshit Congress should be doing, you just go back to making the "freedom fries," Skippy, and let the rest of us make the decisions around here.
The only complaint I got against this here righteous call to arms is that it don’t go far enough!
Us REAL Americans (i.e. Christian Repblicans) shouldn’t just get to condemn heretics, we ought be given the power to put ‘em down if’n they don’t convert!
But I reckon this here condemnation will have to do for now.
So the next time you’re out and about, and you see two conniving Jews wishing each other “Happy Hanukkah”; or you done eye two negroes telling each other, “Kwanzaa”, just remember what the GOP requires of you:
Run up to them Godless heathens and shout, “JESUS IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON! YOU’RE GOING TO HELL FOR HATING CHRIST AND AMERICA!!”
After all, where would these other holidays be if’n not for Christmas?
Religious intolerance: the GOP’s path to freedom!
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