Like Any Parent, Satan Loves All His Children Equally: the Pope, the U.N. & Catholics

Hello Children,

Today’s expose of scientists, atheists and hippies brings us to America’s #2 old lady hater: PZ Myers!

I hate to admit it, but ever so often…rarely…I learn something from them heathen science bloggers!

I know, I know! It IS terrible! A woman my age learning anything new is right near disgraceful! But believe you me, it’s a good thing I did!

If’n y’all interested, read {Here} or follow along:

Jack Chick explains the cracker

Category: Kooks
Posted on: January 6, 2009 11:24 AM, by PZ Myers

Did you know the Catholic church was established by Satan? You would if you read Chick comics. We also get the communion ritual explained for us.

You know what will happen if he doesn't. He will burn in hell for all eternity!

I do rather like the idea of an itty-bitty Jesus taking a dive off a cloud to land in a cracker, though. Wham!

 

I just couldn’t believe my eyes!

Now mind you, I already knew them Catholics were going directly to hell, but I never realized just how young they are when they lose their souls to Satan for all eternity!

As soon as they swallow that there cracker, they are forever damned to an afterlife of torture and agony! Such is the punishment for them what don’t accept Jesus’ love and compassion for all His children!

Or maybe they ain’t lost forever till they digest that cracker? What if they vomit right afterward? I’ll have to consult Pastor Moonjava bout that.

Anyhow, you can find good ol’ Jack Chick’s full tract {Here}, but I wanted to highlight a few panels below:

First off, the Prince of Darkness is a bit more portly than I always imagined he would be. You’d think all that tormenting of sinners would be good cardio! Then again, maybe he leaves all that to his employees.

Now I knew the U.N. was evil, but I always just assumed that it was cause it was run by liberal commies working to create a one-world government: a New World Order.

But turns out that it’s controlled by the Vatican! The Vatican is responsible for all them “humanitarian” efforts! The Vatican is working for “peace” in the Middle East!

The Prince of Darkness has been a guiding light in easing the suffering of countless millions over the last 60 years?!

I got to admit, I never saw that one coming! Just more reason to withdraw from the U.N. and kick all them diplomats out of the country!

Also, I don’t remember Pope John Paul looking that insanely evil, but maybe I just ain’t remembering right.

Now listen, children. Y’all might tempted to ask yourselves why the Catholics are going to hell when they’re doing basically the same thing as other Christians: believing in Jesus and knowing they done saved their souls.

But don’t you fall that malarkey!

They’re going to hell cause they got priests that “interpret” the word of God to their followers: that’s EVIL and Satanic! Us REAL Christians, on the other hand, got Holy pastors that interpret the word of God for their followers: that’s Holy and Godly!

Which brings us to Good Christian Chick’s final panels:

Now I don’t rightly remember Revelation referring to Catholics, or the Vatican, or the U.N. Then again, maybe I’m just misremembering this, too.

But if Jack Chick interprets Scripture this way, then by golly it’s good enough for me!

-Norma Jean

P.S. And that last panel…don’t let it fool you none, either. You might just asking yourself, “ain’t the Catholics receiving Jesus?” The answer is NO! They ain’t!